3 posts tagged “pilot training”

It finally stopped raining a few hours ago. It rained most of the night, and all morning. Lots of rain, buckets of rain, inches and inches it seems of rain. I came home from a Mom Mentor group at church this morning to find my front flower bed underwater. Snapdragons up to their little necks in water. (Can you tell I have poor drainage in that bed? But won't do anything about it since we'll be gone in a few months!)

I bailed out part of the bed with a cup (I'm sure the neighbors thought I was crazy since it was still pouring down rain while I was doing this...leaning out from under the overhang trying not to get soaked. Then I discovered a space in the landscaping edge where I could "let" out all the water almost like pulling the stopper out of the bathtub. Same effect, after I removed a few pieces of mulch and rocks...all the water in the bed, whooshed out and down the driveway.

Now the sun is blazing down on the poor half-drowned flowers (that had just recovered from last weekend's downpour). I hope it helps to dry it out soon!

I should be cleaning and tidying the house for tomorrow. Since tomorrow Andrew's family will converge upon the house for graduation festivities. And then my parents are watching Gavin and our niece Lauren while we, and Andrew's parents and sister go to the graduation dinner that promises to be probably another long-winded speech punctuated by food and being out past my bedtime (you'll understand once you have a baby...when they go to bed, it's a good idea to just pack it up for the day too!) after an already long-winded day of breakfast at 8 (I'm never presentable to the world by 8!), graduation at 10, and then Andrew getting his long-anticipated wings at 11. Then there's a million tours of the squadron and looking at planes and all that fun stuff, where I might be tempted to sneak home and take a nap :)

So I should be preparing for all of this, but I've been enjoying a quiet couple of hours, since it's 4:35 and Gav laid down for a nap at 2. I ate my lunch in peace, I read a magazine, I sort of watched some odd movie with Harrison Ford involving Amish people, and I'm debating about starting dinner even though Andrew flies tonight and won't be home till late. I think I'm just going to enjoy my last few minutes of quiet time where I'm not being tugged on, or squealed at...and do nothing.

After something terrible like this happens, you are just left wondering so much...
Why these two pilots? What could have possibly happened that they wouldn't have been able to fix?
My mind just swirls on this tape of thoughts...a loop of sorts. That just plays it all back over and over again.

Coming out of the BX, happening to glance over my shoulder and seeing all the black billowing smoke coming from the runway. My first thoughts weren't even plane crash...but what's on fire over there? I hadn't heard anything out of the ordinary. Climbing into the car and noticing the time...12:30. The time the papers all say the accident happened.
I must've come out right after it happened. All the SF (Security Forces) speeding past me on my way home, the sirens just going nuts.

And then the silence....

When you live on an Air Force base, especially a training base, you hear a plane go over your house, nearly every minute, sometimes every 30 seconds. It's been so incredibly quiet since 12:30 yesterday. I long for the planes to start up again, so that life will feel more like normal. But then I realize life will never be normal for the two wives' whose husband's didn't come home last night. Their kids will never have daddy come home again, for one, whose unborn baby will never know his daddy. And that's probably what breaks my heart the most.

We are friends with the instructor's family, we go to their church and I go to a mom's group with her. He was just a fantastic guy, so excited about his life and in love with his family and God. Really inspiring couple. And she has this amazing (truly) optimistic outlook, and just kept saying she knew he was fine...he was in a better place and it would be hard for them, but that they could be happy knowing he died doing what he loved. I think she is just such a strong woman and so strong in her faith.

The questions don't end for those of us left behind...the wives have to wonder if something is going to happen to our husband's next time they get in that plane. We all know its a dangerous job, but statistically its more likely you'll die in a car wreck than in a plane crash. (Does that statistic apply to military pilots though? Just a random thought).

Its hard too, for me to get a grasp on all of it, I keep thinking...It could've been us- I could've gotten that knock on the door. How on earth would I handle that? I'm so thankful that Andrew is safe, but I feel guilty for being thankful it wasn't him.  I just don't know how to handle all these emotions. Yesterday sitting with friends (pilot's wives) we all just alternated between crying and wondering aloud about what had happened. I was thankful for the support of all those other girls...it could've been any of us. I just hope y'all keep the families of the pilot's killed in your prayers. Especially the three young children...and their mothers.

The weeks are flying by- it's already the middle of March!! I can't believe it. This week has been a pretty decent week.We had snow, rain, wind, thunderstorms and some great sunny days- you just never knew what kind of weather you were going to wake up too!

I'm bringing back the Highs and Lows, I was doing but slacked off on!

Lows: I still have my persistent headache. We're going on a full month now. The CT scan came back fine, but the doctor I saw today ordered an MRI just to be a bit more thorough. I just felt weird doing all the balance tests, and all of that, because I have noticed my balance is off, and that I get dizzy really easily. The Tylenol/Alleve haven't been working and since I'm still nursing I haven't been able to take anything much stronger. He prescribed Imitrex at the last visit and it didn't help at all, and actually made me feel worse (much more dizzy) and just out of it. I don't really care how bad my head hurts- if I'm feeling loopy and I'm the one alone with Gavin- that's just not going to work out.
I'm just hoping the MRI goes well and that my labs come back in the clear. And that we'll get to the bottom of why the headaches won't go away. It's eating away at me. I'm in a terrible mood because my head is killing me all day, and it's hard to enjoy my sweet little boy feeling this way. :(

My MIL (mother-in-law) has had a rough time recuperating from surgery this week. That's been rough, not knowing what was happening or going to happen,and Andrew not having any time to worry about it (that may have actually helped him) but she's at home and appears to be on the mend :)

Highs: Gavin had his first snow last Saturday, I haven't uploaded the pictures yet (you're not missing anything) it was barely an inch and he didn't even go out in it. It was too cold and wet and he wasn't over his cold yet. But I did video tape his reaction to it from the front door and take some pictures for him. It was nice seeing the snow though, and Wallace and Gromit were hilarious trying to eat it, get it off their paws etc.

Andrew had a good week of flying and "survived" an in-flight emergency (it wasn't really that big of an emergency, but I'm proud of him for not panicking like I know I would've!!)  We're getting ever closer to Assignment Night and we're not hearing optimistic things about the drop. It seems like the Air Force is dropping a lot of a new air frame that is Spec Ops and deploys like crazy...not even what Andrew (or me!) wants. A lot of our friends have their assignment night this coming Thursday, hopefully it will go well. And then it's 6 weeks till ours!!  *heart already pounding!*

Gavin is also crawling on all 4s now, compared to his army crawl that he's been doing for a couple of months. He pulls up and can stand on his own if he's distracted. He's cruising all over the house and is so cute and happy. We bought a new rug for his room (finally!) and he loves playing in there now that it's not slick hardwood floor. I'm a bit nervous about the crawling on all 4s...I did it for a week or two right before I walked...our niece, who's only 6 weeks older than Gav has been walking since 10 months...which Gavin will be in 2 weeks!! I don't think I'm ready for a toddler!

Well, we've got a big weekend- we're buying patio furniture (if I can convince Andrew that it's cute enough), and we're dog sitting for some friends- W & G will be so excited when we bring Sam & Bailey over in the morning! I'll keep everyone posted on the MRI...